Kelly Clarkson "Hole"
Tired, of everything around me
I smile, but I don't feel a thing no
I'm so far from where I need to be
I've given up on faith, on everything
All I want, all I need
Is some peace

There's a hole
Inside of me
It's so cold
Slowly killing me

Secrets, eating at the core of me
Shut off, trusting all the lies I breathe
I'm so far from where I need to be
I've given up on faith, on everything
All I wanted, all I needed
Was some peace

There's a hole
Inside of me
It's so damn cold
Slowly killing me

Sinking ever so slowly
So far from where I should be
No hands reaching out for me
Help me, help me
Something's gone
I can feel it
It's all wrong
I'm so sick of this

There's a hole
Inside of me
It's so cold
Slowly killing me

I want to heed Dolly Parton's advice by "Better Get To Livin", but like the Dixie Chicks, I'm "Not Ready To Make Nice". Maybe this is "Prelude to A Kiss" like Alicia Keys sang. I'm not sure. But all i know is, during night time, Kelly Clarkson's "Irvine" creep its way into me. So this is me desperately trying to pen down what i'm feeling in the simplest form possible to me. And i'm not going to talk about it. Seriously, in all honesty, i hate it when i become emo-momo.

Sophomore Album

30th September. I-CAN'T-WAIT.

Oh my god. Singapore finally won an Olympic medal after a gazillion years. I actually sat through the entire match without my eyes and butt. I may appear to be the least sporty person you'll ever find in any island but i do like to watch the Olympics. Especially gymnastic and diving. But anyway, it was such an intense match between Singapore and Korea's table tennis team. I even kept pushing back the meeting time with Yas cause i do not want to miss Singapore's defining moment in sports history. Okay, maybe i'm not that bad a singaporean after all. I was actually elated that they won. But the gold medal match will be against china, which i doubt they'll even stand a chance. But i'll still catch it though. Amazing competition. I think i nearly peed my pants while watching the match. Hahaha.

Yesterday was spent jogging with cousin in the morning and Ah Mei Kaya Toast at Rail Mall for breakfast. After which, we walked back to her place and, talk. We spent almost the entire morning talking, and i love doing so with cousin because, i don't know, she's just a really good person to talk to. She just like this big sister i never had, and i can trust on her for everything. I feel comfortable whenever i'm around her and i can really tell her anything, so i'm not ashame to say that i really do love cousin a lot. So i got home, took a shower, got dressed and head to meet Prince at Far East. As usual, erm, i'm late. Like, who isn't surprised. I think people might get a massive heart attack if i somehow manage to be punctual. No, i'm just kidding, haha. But i feel really bad every time i'm late, honestly. That is something i gotta work hard at. Anyhow, we had subway, window shopped a little, talked a lot before we find ourselves at Marina Square. We just talked and walked at the same time, stopped at some malls in between the stretch before reaching where we were. It's kinda fun to go out with prince, cause he got this really foul mouth and wicket sense of humour. I think it's the first time i actually talk that much with him, so i guess it's all good. Neat. Because we got nothing to do, we took 75 all the way back, which is a really long journey back home. Then i head for gramp's place for dinner before it was home sweet home. Dozed off in front of the tv for a while, caught some show on tv and it's off to bed. I would say that it's a pretty good day. Nothing significant, nothing interesting, but just as i like it. Simple.

This entry has been done up for a while and i think i'm just gonna post it. Too lazy to edit the parts. And yes, this is the very important pictures. Babe and I with Alicia Keys, plus random people in betweel obviously.

I’ve been trying my best to keep it hush hush lest I jinx it, but it didn’t work. Wonder which part of it did I do wrongly. Anyway, the thing is, I won tickets to Singfest and even got the chance to meet Alicia Keys. Yes, Alicia Keys, multi-Grammy award winner who sold over 30 million album worldwide. But you might also notice that I’m not jumping out of my seat. Well, I was, until the actual day itself. I even imagined over one hundred scenarios on how I’m going to meet her and might even freak out but what happened was something that never crossed my mind. Let’s start with Singfest itself first, and build the story eventually as we go.

So LeeLian and I reached the place around 5 plus, missing the first two acts – Stacie Orrico and Jamie Scott. Well, don’t really care cause I’m not a fan. So we reached there during OneRepublic’s set, but we only stayed for one song cause it’s jam packed and scorching hot. We left for some drink and nachos under a shady area, on a bench near the stage where local bands are performing to a crowd of about 5. They have this huge space to hold the crowd but there’s only about 5 there, and I ain’t kidding. There are more people onstage than off. Haha. So we made our way back to the crowd, found a good spot directly facing the stage before Panic at the Disco made their way to the stage. Well, I might want to add that I am nowhere near the stage, since we’re already so damn late, and I hate moshpits. Hahaha. During their second and third performance, the mic was off, and they didn’t know that. Maybe the people in front can hear them, but not people at the back. So all we saw was the lead singer with his moving lips and all the rock and roll move but no sound. Other than those coming from the drummer of course. So people start getting rowdy and starts shouting and jeering at the band, but they have absolutely no clue what the crowd was jeering at. Poor guys. Some crew member then ran to them and told them what happened after their third song. But they have to keep performing since everything runs on schedule, but thankfully the speaker came back on during their forth song, and the crowd erupted in loud cheers and applause. True rock and roll experience, haha. They did great and got the crowd moving.





After their set, during the intermission, Lee Lian and I made our way to the side, and settled down on the ground under a tree. It’s far from the stage, but it’s cooling and we still get to see the stage. We’re there to enjoy the music, so it doesn’t really matter where we’re sitting. So after ten minutes or so, Jason Mraz came on! He is the reason why I want to attend Singfest so badly and without a doubt, I think he did a fantastic job. He got the loudest cheer from the crowd I think, and everyone was singing to his songs, especially during “I’m Yours”. He is really good at working with the crowd and got everyone involved in a lot of his songs. Nothing to complain about his set. Perfecto! Oh, there were these 2 SPG next to us, with their friends and boyfriends, who were a disgrace in my opinion. They were bloody drunk the moment we sat there, so I presume they were already dead drunk before we even got there around 6. They were hugging the tree bark, screaming for Rick Astley and all over the place. They can’t even stand still. They are wasted, and have no dignity in my opinion. I’ve always think that we should respect people but them, I look down on them. No sense of shamelessness. They were hanging on the branch of the tree, trying to break it. And their swinging was hitting the 3 people in front of them. It’s a big branch mind you. The guy got so pissed off and tell them to watch out, but all they could get out from their wasted mouth was “sorry” before they went on to break the entire branch. They have absolutely no respect for others and they are harming a poor innocent tree, who’s done nothing but provide our dying planet with oxygen. LeeLian was right, I hope they roll down the slope or something. I’m not trying to be all ethical and all that but go get drunk at the right place! There are little kids around, there’s even one beside us, so behave a little. And they have this awful dance move, which only involved shoving their vah-jay-jay in midair. I’m sure that’s how they got their boyfriends! I’ve seldom criticize someone so openly before but I’m just too mad! I think I’m making myself out to be the last person you would invite to a party. Hahahaha.


Anyway, after Jason Mraz, we were forced to watch some lame Levi’s fashion show which is a bloody waste of time, before Rick Astley came on. We only managed to catch one performance before having to meet the person in charge of the meet and greet. So we met her around 9, and were brought outside of the media tent, where we were told to queue and meet Alicia Keys. So we waited, and waited, and waited, and waited. Rick Astley came and went. We missed everything! Only manages to hear his voice, but that’s okay, since his set was pretty boring. Yes, he brought the 80’s dancemove back but he went a little too far by slowing things back to the Elvis-era. So after him was another crowd favorite, The Pussycat Dolls. Babe and I went out to catch two of their performance by the side of the stage, quite a close view, and they were fantastic. Girls sure can shake their booty! Honestly, I’m not a fan of their lyrical contents, but they sure can work the stage! They were amazing onstage, full of energy.


So we went back to the side of the stage, back to the media tent, and wasted our time there. We missed all the other actions from the dolls, which I presume was really good, since the crowd went absolutely nuts for them. All in all, we waited for close to 2 hours. And it’s full of rules. No personal photography, no autograph, only group pictures allow blablablabla. 2 hours! I went from excited to tired to pissed. Well, trust me, LeeLian was way more pissed off. Hahaha. But come on, seriously, I may like your songs and respect all the philanthropy work you’ve done, but being late for 2 hours and no news is absolutely no-no. And so many restrictions? Come on, seriously. I was trying my best to remain positive but everything just went real wrong. You see, during those two hours, we could be having the time of our time watching Rick Astley and The Pussycat Dolls but no, we were waiting outside the tent for her to arrive. I’m not sure who to point the blame at – her crew, herself, the organizer – but that’s just plain disrespect on their part. I’m just mad at the fact that we have to wait 2 hours like a bloody fool to meet some “superstar” for 3 seconds, and have the photos taken by the professional they hired, which also means I’ve no idea where the picture is. Well, at least diva manages to get her act together to smile and shook hands with us. She seemed nice during those 3 seconds, that’s the most positive thing I can say for the entire 2 hours of meet and greet. Also the fact that she is mind-blowingly flawless! Every pore on her body screams GORGEOUSNESS! She’s so beautiful, I thought I’m looking at a wax figure that escaped from Madame Tussad’s Wax Museum! And she’s small, wonder how much weight those TV put on her!! So after that, we went back to the crowd to catch her performance. Yeah, she sounded great but I can’t really enjoy myself after that awful disrespectful treatment. I’m sounding so whiny in this entry and I’m sorry if my negativity is hurting, but I just feel that we weren’t being treated appropriately. We may not be celebrities but that doesn’t mean that our time doesn’t matter. We missed the Pussycat Dolls! When is the next time we’re going to see them? I am definitely not pleased. Hahaha. Since she’s so late, she had to rush through her set but a lot of people were leaving during her performance. Babe and I listened to a few songs before we also made our exit cause it’s getting late. I’ve been looking forward to singfest for so long and in my mind, I had already drafted many copies of how I would gush about the whole thing, but turns out, it’s quite a letdown. The singers and bands all did fantastic, and I am blessed and thankful for it, many people wished they could go and I know I should be thankful that I even get to meet Alicia Keys, but the treatment given and the encounter with those bloody wasted fool made it a rather bad experience. Well, actually, i should see things with an open mind, and i'm absolutely fine with it now. Though i'm still a bit spiteful to be honest. All in all, i can't lie and say i didn't have fun. I did. And Babe constitutes to a lot of it. And Jason Mraz. Gosh, he's a fantastic singer. Hahaha.

Watched Juno last night and it was fantastic!! I love watching movie at home cause everything's under my control - i can pause and play all that i want and sit in whatever position i feel comfortable in. Anyway, speaking of the movie, it is rather different from most of the movies i've seen, and it's the director's first or second production. So i would say he did an amazing job. I really liked the way he shoot the scenes, very different from most of the hollywood blockbusters. And the screenwriter Diablo Cody, who won an Oscar for her DEBUT writing, penned an excellent storyline. I still can't believe she used to be a stripper. What a complete 180. As for Ellen Page, who starred as the movie lead Juno, did an impeccable job. The way she speak and think, i actually believe in Juno. I like the character a lot. Very independant minded, really really cool. I can't help but keep paying attention to the words she say, because they are funny and interesting. It's one of those feel good movie that you just can't help but have this smile after all is over. Very pleasant. I like. And the music in the movie - AWESOME. Now i know why leelian wants to buy the soundtrack. I particularly love the last scene where Juno was sitting with Paulie at his front porch, strumming their guitar and singing "Anyone Else But You". Most importantly, this amazing film took only about one month to film. INCREDIBLE!

.

Two songs i heard recently and think they're great:

Lily Allen's "Fuck You Very Much" - love the melody!

David Archuleta "Crush" - very mainstream pop and catchy tune.

I just read the past entry and it only took me 1 minute to read it, when i used 40 minutes to type it out. Maybe the next time i space out, i will press the "." key till i think of something to say, therefore emphasizing how long it took me to type a sentence.

The singfest (yes i won tickets and went) entry has been done up but yet to be posted cause I've been patiently waiting for those damn bloody inefficient singfest people to upload a very important picture that took me 2 hours just for it. My mind's real blank right now and I've no idea what to say. The past week had been, busy, to say the least. Busy, alternating between my alter egos, desperately trying to keep the sane one alive in the day. Night time, "Irvine" plays over and over again in my head. Now i sound schizophrenic, but no i'm not. All i know is, i'm having lots of comfort food, more than i probably should. And it's really not a good idea. Whatever, i'm hungry now.

I have been neglecting this thing of mine for the longest time so it’s time for some touching up before the dust catches on. Let’s start with the Prince’ birthday celebration, which took place last Sunday. The day before was spent making the hade-made gifts for him. So on the day itself, the four of us – namely HuiYing, Weiqi, Liyi and I – met up first to do some last minute work for the presents as well as lunch before proceeding to meet the birthday boy at Plaza Singapura. Well, being in a group that can never come up with a decision, we end up watching movie. That is the best way to kill time, for us that is, cause all we know is to eat. That’s right, other than eating, you can bet on your money that we will be standing somewhere brainstorming on what to do. Haha.

Since there’s some time before the show starts, we made our way to The Cathay for ice creams and drinks at Ben & Jerry. That’s when we gave the royal his first present – a cap – which he already knew beforehand. Bummer. But that’s okay, since that’s not the highlight.
So after chilling there for a while (well, not chilling actually, since there’s kids running around and being a nuisance but that’s the only word I can think of right now), we went back to PS for our show. But that is after we made a quick stop at Cold Storage for drinks. So the show that we caught was “X-Files – I Want To Believe”. It’s kinda cool to see Agent Mulder and Scully back in action again, but I don’t really think the movie was great. It’s good, but not great. There’s no climax to the movie. It’s just like another episode of the series, just that it’s half an hour longer. Haha.

After the movie ended, we then went to Clarke Quay, or whatever quay it is. We first have dinner at the Bah Kut Teh shop opposite Central, which I frequent quite a lot over the past year. I really love their soup. Sidetracking a little, I really don’t think I should be blogging now, since I’m so sour right now. But I want to, since I’ve been leaving this thing of mine unattended for a week. Okay, I shall now continue. So after dinner, we shopped around the mall, caught some people trapped in a ball being propelled into the air before finally settling down at Paisley & Cream for dessert. Yes, it’s all about the food. So we ordered what we wanted and it’s time for the presents! It’s a box overflowing with love. Okay, that sentence sounds wrong, and it’s nauseating me.

So I hand it over the the prince, and first, when he saw the 6 cards with his pictures on it, he gave this really dead look. Well, you can’t blame him cause it’s mostly pictures you wish you were never in. But once he opened it and read the contents, the once foul-mouthed prince got real sensitive and shed a few tears. Prince, you should know that I’m being real nice here by claiming that you only “shed some tears”. Haha. I know I’m being real mean by saying this, but during those moments, I can’t stop laughing. It’s hysterical. Don’t get me wrong, I’m happy that he likes the gift so much, but that is definitely not the expression I expected. It’s much much more that I would have imagined. So it’s all good.

We then hand him his third present, which is a tee from Stussy. After which, we asked him to close his eyes while we took out the last gift of the night. For those we knew him, would know that he is a fan of this Chinese pop band called Lollipop. So our final gift was this 6 big lollipop we got from Candy Empire. On one side, there’s pictures of each of the member in that group with words like “I LOVE LOLLIPOP” jumping out. On the flip side, it’s picture of the 6 of us involved – Shandy, HuiYing, WeiQi, Liyi, YongSheng and I. And the best part? The birthday boy got real sensitive again. Hahahaha. Kinda freak me out a little to see such soft side of YongSheng actually. Haha. But it’s a good expression. I wish I could cry whenever I’m touched, but I’m too cold blooded to ever pull that off. I might want to add that the Prince shed some more tears around 5 minutes after that, so it’s a total of three times in a night! And his way of showing how much he love our gift? “You bitches!” Well, you are very welcome. Hahahaha. Well, it’s really funny. Trust me. My stomach and jaw hurt like mad after all the chaos settled down. The entire place was filled with our noise. It’s a good night. And I’m glad he liked our gift so much. Haha.

The following day, a Monday, met Meow and we went to catch “The Dark Knight” at Marina Square. This is the first time I initiated watching a movie since I can’t remember when. Well, part of the reason is that it’s the incredible Heath Ledger’s last, so I though I shouldn’t give it a miss, especially since it’s generating buzz all over the world. Not much of a surprise, I LOVE the movie. Heath Ledger’s acting was real good. He brought the Joker to life. My eyes never left the screen during that two and a half hour. He’s incredible. I’m sure all the papers and reviewers out there have already gushed about how great he is, so I shall leave it as that. Before the show starts, Meow and I had lunch at Kenny Roger’s Roaster, a place I’ve been wanting to eat for quite a while. Finally tried their macaroni and cheese and it shouts sinful with a capital S. The chicken was really dry though.

We also had drink at Maui Wowi (or something like that, can’t remember the name) after the show. Ordered their Black Lava Beach and it’s really refreshing. I’m not an expert in this, but I think they use fresh fruits in their drinks, and you can actually taste the freshness of it all! Yeap, so that’s all. Overall, it’s a great lazy day!