My Angel

On most nights, before i go to bed, i have the habit of listening to a few songs first. Usually, they're some of the current favourite cause there's just too many songs to listen to. So yesterday, i was browsing through the songlist before "My Angel" catches my eyes. I clicked on it and got lost in my all time idol, Kellie Pickler's voice. I know the lyrics to the back of my head and i have listened to it upteen times but it has never affected me the way it did while listening last night. Halfway through the song, images of Grandpa flashes through my mind. It has been long since i last thought of him. Yes, he does crosses my mind on certain days but i can't remember the last time i actually remember HIM - his voice, his looks, his actions. And i misses him terribly. It has been what, 10 years, since grandpa passed and yesterday, i miss him more than i did for the past years added altogether, if this feeling can be quantified. I don't know the reason for the sudden emotional roller coaster ride. It may be all the stuff that is going on right now but i doubt so. I guess maybe, it's just right to think about grandpa every now and then even though he may be gone because after all, he did provide me with quite a lot of wonderful childhood memories. This particular song i'm talking about, My Angel, talks about how Kellie used to spend her days with her late grandma and what she wants to say to her and it's just so nostalgic. It reminds me of that one day when Grandpa took 3/4 years old (can't remember the age exactly) me to the beach and we spent the whole afternoon doing nothing but enjoying the scenery. I remembered sitting under a big tree only to discover it was covered with ants after it crawled all over us. He then bought ice-cream for me and i had it smeared all over my face, chocolate flavoured, and he didn't clean my dirty mouth and cheeks until we reaches home. Just a normal typical grandpa-grandson bonding activity but i still remember it clearly until now. It's the simplicity in life that etched so deeply in the heart. I also recall all the times we went to his place and would always have Yakult in the fridge specially for us. I was spoilt under my grandpa's love back then and i enjoyed every second of it, not knowing how much of a memory it would bring to me now. I guess i'm lucky in some way for i was the one he dotes on the most back then as compared to the other grandchildren and at least i get to spend some of my childhood with the presence of my grandpa, unlike others. Yes, i know and realizes i am lucky as compared to many many other. But i regret the fact that i can't reciprocate the love he has given me as a child who doesn't know what love is back then, and is getting a grasp its meaning now. I miss him and i think it's only right that we don't forget the people who are no longer physically a part of our life. It's good to think about Grandpa every now and then. If there's regrets in life, i would regret my behaviours towards him during his last days and i regret not remembering whether i told him how great and wonderful a grandpa he is and that i love him so much i don't think i ever told him before. Speaking of which, i still remember during one of the ching ming festival years ago, i drew a card and burned it for grandpa. Hahaha, okay, i was really silly at that time.

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Anyway, on a lighter note, first day of work couldn't get any worst. I was actually late for a good 20 minutes! And the job scope is seriously monotonous and boring and the environment is like working in a desert. I'm sure one would have know the amount of human activity in a desert - NONE! Okay, other than those moving tribes leading their camels. There's still so many days to go!